Monday 28 April 2014

Blessed!

It's been a year that I got a job and I'm grateful for the prayers that kept me goin and still keeps me goin. God has been kind to me. He has blessed me and still is. And He will. Looking into my life, I can surely say, Im being guided. A good family,  few good friends, daily providence that take care of my needs...list goes on.
I know how blessed I am when I see the beggar down the street, when I see all the deaths, sickness and hunger around me. Why should I be sad then? What do I lack? Often, I wish I was better and things worked out my way. Not satisfied...ever wanting. Wanting for what? Recognition? Praise? Acceptance? For riches?
But what if I get all these...and then what? So you see..by merely asking "Then what?" shows I aint happy, I want more. Insatiable!

But somewhere deep in my heart, a voice stirs. It says that Im kinda lonely. Maybe I have to take heed...maybe not. I really don't know and I'm goin bonkers. Iam asking God to show me. To give me patience and a heart to wait for and to love a girl. I know He does whats best.
Susan has been soo nice. I never hid any of my intentions, my feelings. She is good.


I remember the September 8th of last year, which unexpectedly happened to be Mary's birthday. After my work, as I was in the bus to home, I thought to myself..let me ask Susan. and let God decide. Due to a recent heartbrake over unrequited love , I was soo sad that I wept kneeling praying the rosary. It was the first time in my life (I think) that I prayed it more than 2 or 3 times.
In the night Susan messaged me. I never expected it. I havent been in touch with her since school. Never knew she was still single. Never even guessed it.

And from that day on till now...im expecting God to bless me with her. My sister says theres no way me gonna have cos she is way beautiful for me. But it's not the looks. Its...just the way she is. She keeps babbling over the phone which I just love to hear. Her readiness to fight for herself and her loved ones. But hey, as everyone else she too have her downside. But I like her anyways.
But it's Gods will...not mine. May His will be done.

Friday 4 April 2014

Friends

Just bcos I don't write here about my friends, that doesnt mean I dont think about them.
Shaina has become a mother. God bless her. I dreamt about her lately. Cant remember now.
Nancy got married and is happy.
Angie has become a nurse
Addie is enjoying her trip. I tried wishing her for her birthday, but it went to voice mail. Sorry about that.
Safiya....well...I actually miss her the most. Her hubby is kinda possessive (no harm meant)...no contact for a while. I hope she is well.

The Letter M

I have been talking about Marian devotion lately. Don't know why. Maybe it's cos of that unquenchable desire to be pure. Maybe it's cos she is my dear mother. Talking about she being a mother, I recently saw a Korean movie "The Wedding Dress". And one thing I can tell you is that I was left crying like a baby.
Why is that a mother's love is so powerful. I just can't fathom why. Maybe I shouldn't, maybe I can't.
It's kinda weird that there there are so many languages in this world....but we all, more or less, address our mother with like terms..like Mom, Mommy, Ma, Umma, and my language , as Amma. Which is why I think the letter M is so overflowing with motherly love.

"The sweetest sounds to mortals given, 
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven."
 - William Goldsmith Brown