Yesterdays and yesteryears

I just went down the memory lane. From my life in Ireland, Dubai to here right now. Have I achieved anything? Nada. Was there anything to be achieved? If having a good education and then a job for settling in is an achievement. Then no. I have not achieved it.

But sometimes not achieving anything makes me dream of how life could or could have been. Will these dreams drive me to chase success? Don't know.

After all what is success? Money? Good job? Reputation? Your success is different to mine. It is subjective. If I succeed to not have a sugary diet for a day, can you say it doesn't even meet the definition of success?

I believe as long as anything requires or warrants a struggle to reach that peak of feeling successful, then yes you just had success. At that peak, you look down at the boulders and mountains you climbed to reach here. You realise if it weren't for those, there would be no struggle and no success. 

The grass is greener there yonder

This is a continuation from one of my earlier post lionising my state, Kerala. I just happened to read an article in New Indian Express by Paul Zacharia. In it he extols how Kerala imbued views and opinions from others, be they far or near. A short but interesting read that takes you to the initial ideological formation of the state to the present.

Granted there is the desire in me to fly abroad, make some money and enjoy a better standard of living. But on hindsight, there is nothing lacking here except for a better income. Although I am employed at this time (thank God), expenses are eating away my monthly income. However, one thing I noticed is with a rising income, my propensity to spend more bumps up. I spend on things which otherwise I wouldn't have.

So then what makes me think to immigrate? Goods? Better pay? Or the feeling that something is lacking even when I am completely happy. 

World you can rebound

Who thought that in this day and age a virus could bring all human activities to a halt. That many would lose lives because of it.

But just as always, we joined hands and worked against it. But it also reminded us how fragile we are.

However no matter how fragile it is, the will always rise above it. 

My thoughts and prayers for all fighting. 

Kerala: tiny in size, big at heart

As a child growing up in my tiny little State of Kerala, I always loved the people here. This brought a sense of belonging. To the point where if this sense is denied I feel something has been taken forcefully. What is it? 

Being lived in Middle East for most of my childhood I know non-democratic nations can offer peace among its residents.

Kerala on the other hand is only a state in India. It is reliant on the Centre (Delhi) for its sustenance. The Centre that is democratically instituted.

The recent violence in Delhi has made me think.  It has made me think how blessed am I to be in Kerala. Right now I am on a bus to work. On its windshield you will see three photo frames with a Hindu God, Jesus and the Mosque facing the commuters. Call me naive, but I wonder where else can you see this kind of unity. A song is being played on the speakers that is offered to the Hindu God, Lord Krishna. Being a Catholic does that offend me? No. It doesn't and shouldn't. Why not? Because I, like other majority of Keralites, puts people first, religion comes later. 

No matter what religion you are or what belief you have, or don't have, there is this common thread that runs through our souls. To feel empathy and to do something about it. To understand others, their pain. 

It is then no wonder why the political parties here came together despite their differences to say No to laws that seemingly divides people on the basis of religion. 

If education is what makes me elucidate these thoughts then I wish for people being educated. To travel. To take in, mull over and start  bringing changes within ourselves. Let's not be too narrow. Widen our scope. 

God has other plans

So Ronitta didn't pass her exam and so we can't settle in Ireland. This leaves my mom to be alone. Well, we prayed so hard for it. Seems like ke God has other plans. Yes I am sad, but those prayers hopefully helped someone else.

Anyways thank you Lord for the opportunity. Its been a year since we were blessed with this chance. We had hopes, we gave up our job in New Zealand and headed back to India. Now we are without job, and so I have to start looking for a job, to have a new start, have a child or two, pay our debts and live a life as God wants. To be alive and with good health is another blessing. I will try to use it for my family and those around. 

A prayer to a mother.

Dear Mary, this one is for my mother. You know exactly how mothers feel. My mother is alone and no one likes to be alone. Even on the cross Jesus entrusted you to John. I humbly ask of you to pray to the Lord that we all may live together giving thanks and praise to your Son. He said "Ask" and here am I asking. Once granted this would be a great milestone for our spiritual journey because of the prayers and the tears of my mom. Thank you for getting us thus far and thank Lord for this minor setback as instead of damaging our faith, it gave us confidence and hope and made us humble.   

But I miss you

So here am I alone at my home, thinking what to write. Alone I may be, but I my thoughts keep me occupied. It's been more than a week now and I am already missing Ronitta. Her laughter keeps echoing in my mind. She has gone were my mom is. Finally someone beside my mother! Thank you good Lord for this opportunity. An opportunity to be together. No one wants to be alone. As for me, I am not truly alone as I have my extended family living all around. But it's just as they say, you may feel alone even when you have people around.

I truly hope, wish and pray that she pass her exams. God bless her.

I had applied for a three-month tourist visa to goto Ireland on the basis of my mother being there. But the application was rejected saying I have no commitment to return back. Fair enough. I have no qualms over it.  The Western Developed World might see us as being desperate to gain an entry. Everyone wants a better life and so immigration must be regulated. However, they can't really know my intent unless they ask me. They assumed me to overstay and so was barred entry.

So here am I, a son to a great mother and a husband to a beautiful and loving wife ruing he should have known better.