I say Thank You

I'm an introvert trying not to be shy in front of people. I often see myself not saying the right thing at the right time and that too when I open my mouth it's gibberish. This breaks down my confidence so much. I keep quiet...forced to. I have lost various opportunities because of this. 

But hey I don't rue that much. I see myself slowly changing, which is good.

To talk face-to-face with the mother and family of  Susan would be the last thing I ever imagined. If it was 3 years ago...I would faint by the very thought of it (lol just joking). But yes my heart would be racing like Formula One. I would stammer and stumble. I would make a fool out of myself in front of them. There would be fear.

But not today. I have changed. I not only talked with them, I was quiet comfortable with them. In fact I wanted to talk more. But given the situation...I must not overdo it. I had the spunk to say them directly that I'm not well with people or have that many "people skills".
I don't know what they think of me. Can I look after and love their girl.

The point is...many had taught me (and still is) patiently to love myself and not to be scared of talking. It's to them I owe a big thanks. I know I'm hard to "train".lol. Their hard work is paying off I guess. Its slow...but still in progress.

As for winning Susan, I remain hopeful. I have reached this far by nothing but by prayer. And pray I will.

Interstellar

Went to the cinema to see. Man, great movie. I wouldn't mind seeing it the second time. Gravity was awesome but this...this is better I guess. The storyline  is well written with ample twists and turns. Christopher, you did a well job I would say.
Wanted to see it the first time I knew about it...four months back!
Glad to see the movie touching the topic of earth and population which I mentioned on my previous post.
Asked Susan to see it too cos the plot revolves around the love of a father and daughter.

Go watch it!
You wont regret.

Make me tender

For one month I gave myself to Mary so that she may offer my prayers to Him. For one month I remained pure and faithful.. and then I fell.
Mind you its no easy task for me. But on hindsight, I have improved a lot. I still have a long way to go and I'll never give up.
If yesterday I confess, today I sin. Each time I get close, I am thrown away. No I wont give up.

Mother I implore thee

Stained by sin I fear to approach

Ask your Son to forgive me

For giving hurt and only hurt

My thoughts and desires

Far from pure and marred by lust

How can I say I love others

When loving you I never bother

Mother don't give up hope

Ask your Son to forgive me

I'm fighting inside with self

To crucify self on the cross

Cross your Son bore

For me and even more

Calloused I am

And make me tender

Assisted Suicide Wins

Which is more valuable? Pain or life? hmm..

In my earlier post I mentioned I'll be praying for Britanny Manynard. Just read the news that she took her life with the "suicide pill". One wonders when did such a pill come into existence. I don't know what compels a person to take such a decision.
They say its cos of love. That they don't want anyone else to suffer jus cos they are sick. But is it so simple?
We as a family are meant to take care of our sick members. That's what a family is for. What if someone finds a cure for cancer tomorrow? Then what...can we bring her back?

But let me also ask...does a true family exist? How do you define a family? Selfish we all are...oblivious to pain and suffering. It's no wonder when we are about to see such an act common.
Just imagine sick people all over ending their lives because of love. What kind of love is this? Strange

And I thought population was to blame

A recent forecast by researchers says that even if world over people follow one-child policy the total population would be 5-10 billion by 2100. Now that takes into consideration major catastrophe and even a First World War and Second World War combined.

Are we so selfish to only take care of our children? What about generations after them? Do we care?

Who is going to feed these mouths? You will ask who cares if  I have one or lets say four kids. Well, you may be well off to feed them, but aren't you taking away some portion from the deserving? The downtrodden..the weak and hungry.

Considering the Knanaya community here, the church wants as many progeny as possible. I understand that their numbers are few. Forget them, my own mother says it would be nice if I have 4 kids!!

Some see our world as a boat where you can only take a limited passengers. If you take too many the boat may capsize.  That means help only few who have the energy to shout out. Let others who have no voice allowed to be drowned. hmm...strange.

Lollipop?

Google you definitely have a knack of naming operating systems. Its catchy and sounds yummy!!

As for me I have a rooted KitKat Carbon from XDA. Don't know if I will try switching...but ill if time permits. You see I love breaking things...and fixing things. :)

One less

For the past one year or so I have been praying for someone. I don't know her nor she me. I just know she is a girl of 17 years in Canada and she has blood cancer. Before I go to sleep, each day I used to pray for her recovery...that is if I didn't doze off.
But during the past one month or so...God reminded me of her more often than not in His various little ways. I did wonder why? Is she in pain? Does she need strength? I din't get any answer. I have no contact with her..just strangers. I just overheard her name "Pearl"  from one of my aunts who happens to be her acquaintance.  From then on I thought I might as well pray for her.

But four days back my aunt gave me the news she is no more. I felt sad. But this is life. I may go and only my fading memories live. Life is strange...so short to do so much.

It again shows that no matter how hard we pray, God has His own ways. My mom says it is better that Pearl left us lest she might had to suffer a lot. I dunno what to think. God your love is difficult to understand. Are you trying to teach me something?