It's Christmas!

Seems like it's been ages since I wrote something here. Hmm
Ok, if you can consider something lifeless as a person, then this Christmas I have a new member in my family.
Guess who?
My first car!
Now that I'm actually gonna get married, a car would definitely help.
I was dead right scared to touch even the wheels. But thanks to God and my friends and family I have been garnering courage (not just for driving) over the past years.
Ronitta is in love with me and I feel great thinking about it.
At this point in my life, I lack nothing... except a job. I hope it would be sorted out soon.

Strangers in love

So it's been quite some time since I posted something. It's reason is quiet obvious. I felt lonely, wasted and rejected. And mind you it wasn't the first time me sulking over unrequited love.
Susan taught me few things for being a better person and I respect her for that. Maybe she was meant to only be a good friend.
Days passed into months and I am still here. Life is exciting when you don't know what's for tomorrow.
But something did happen in the mean time. Thanks to my sister, I now have a girl who loves me back. Ronitta.
It seems I was being groomed and prepared for her. Our marriage is fixed and soon we will be one in heart.
I'm still jobless though. But not worried too much because I have a good father above.
She is a nurse but currently not employed.
Till a few months back, Ronitta was a perfect stranger but today she is mine... bound to be my wife. Thank you Lord.

The Window Seat

Spell bound was I by the beauty around
Fleeting by my window as streaks of green
The trees, the grass and the leaves
It is to the Creator I say thanks
And then I see creation at its best
Her eyes sparkling with the life of youth
To me time suddenly decides to slow
Or is it I who wants to see her for a bit longer
My heart races yearning her gaze to meet mine
But then she decides to alight
And I see her no more

Phone

Got my new phone and im hearing my old phone saying not to let it go. Many times I have felt to throw the old one to the wall. But I didn't. It taught me to have patience and to trust it. And so I did. Now after almost two years, its being replaced with a better one. That's technology. Either keep in pace or moan and whine with the older gadgets in your hands. But it no way I was compelled. The new shiny piece of technology with me is Asus Zenfone 2.

It's strange that an inanimate object such as a phone can teach you something in your life.

MASCOM (Manorama School of Communication)

It's been 10 months here and boy I must agree this is unlike any other institution for learning journalism. I had actually wished to join here a year before, but I couldn't. Call it fate or a prayer answered, here am I about to graduate from MASCOM a year later.
This is not advert, but I strongly believe this place is awesome. You literally live here. The fact that you ought to publish your own "stories" every week is exciting and thrilling. Agreed, you may not find much in this sleepy town of Kottayam, but then you are taught to develop a new perspective of things around you.
Before joining I had this doubt if I journalism was my thing. I'm kinda shy and slow to speak. But now after 10 months in here, I don't regret a bit.
To survive in here, you need patience, an open heart to get criticism thrown onto your face and a you must be willing to co-operate with your fellow mate. I feel the last one will take you far more than the rest. Help those around you and be humble.
For non-natives Kerala could be a bit difficult and not knowing Malayalam would seem hard. But, you will get used to it.
So I need a pat on my shoulders for making this far. Thank you MASCOM and my colleagues for helping me to become better than what I was yesterday.

Eyes never lie

Isn't the eyes the most beautiful creation? Apart from seeing, there is a nobler cause for its existence...to cry.

Nothing can substitute for it. Without it, we might just blow up. Maybe it's like our safety valve...venting out the steam.

And I thank my creator for giving me those two shiny sparkling things :)

Ok! This is weird!

As I sat idly staring blankly at my computer screen, pondering what to do. I had this pencil sketch of Jesus holding a child pinned up next to the screen. And there, out of the blue, a cute little dragonfly appears and settles on Jesus
By the time I realized to take a pic, the cute little thing flew away. But here it is, the sketch :)

But I still don't understand the link between a dragonfly and God. Or is it me just making up a link so as to believe? I am  a man of little faith.

Under Construction

Today if I look into my life and compare to yesteryears, I would say thanks to few others.  Today, I feel I can take risks and remain hopeful. Although they are feelings, I was even hesitant to feel this way. I'm taking baby steps for changing myself, even though there is this strong calling not to change and accept defeat. But I won't give up and is happy to be under construction :)

Dragonflies and Moses

Had this weird dream. Thought of writing it.

Moses is in a desert and is very thirsty. No water and scorching sun above. What will he do?
Well then, a dragonfly  sips water quietly near a pond or something. It sips and guess what it does next?
It passes this water (don't know how..maybe spits) to the broad wings of another dragonfly. And this one passes to another one and so on...until it reaches Moses. Moses just had to open his mouth and his thirst is gone.
 I see a pharaoh really distressed about something. 

Don't know why I dreamt this. Is God trying to say something or is my mind projecting a distorted version of what happened according to the Bible?

May I just need to trust Him. He will make a way :)

Gold

Isn't it good to be tested. You will know exactly who you are. You will certainly know your weaknesses. As I wait a door to be opened...I'm testing my patience to wait. Will I fail?

With you

Out there somewhere an eye sheds its tears
Out there somewhere a lip begin to smile
Out there somewhere a voice is heard
Out there somewhere a heart rejoices
Out there somewhere a soul unites
Out there somewhere someone calls my name
And it is out there where I want to be
With you 

WhatsApp flaw causes privacy concerns

There seems to be a security flaw in WhatsApp which allows you to be tracked.  This includes your online status, your status message and profile pictures.

The risk can be seen by using the WhatSpy app. 

Hopefully there might be a fix soon :)

A smile a day keeps a doctor away :)

It's hard to smile when times are tough. But a smile can really make a difference. At times when I'm alone or think of the state things are, my thoughts invariably goes up heaven. I converse with God, ask him questions, blames Him, thanks Him. He never replies...at least in physical sense. Complete quietness. Back to square one.
But then, there are times when you begin to "doubt" when something happens exactly the way you want or wish. Did God just answered your prayer? I lacked faith and I started asking for just that. God has been teaching me patiently what it means to be faithful. And it definitely makes me smile.
I am now like "Why is God answering my prayers every time?" And that too sometimes in less than a minute!
My friends doubt me saying that I knew something is gonna happen the way I want and ONLY THEN I claim that God just answered my prayer. It ain't that way. I have been learning that when you pray...in the end of each prayer, each request, always add "If its your will Lord".
I know its difficult to believe for others. But He is for sure teaching me.  I smile :)

Honey I don't have the money :)

Just tried comparing my annual salary (in Rupees) to that of Lionel Messi. And what did it say?

Messi will earn my annual income in.. any guess? in 4 minutes
And it will take me 2325 years to earn his annual wage or I should have started earning in 310 BC to reach his income by now!


Try comparing yours by visiting BBC

Lets talk numbers

If there is one language that can convey the same meaning no matter where you come from...it is numbers. Isn't it weird? All of us know that 1+1= 2.

Can numbers unite us? I don't know. But I think it has enough power than can lead to change. Change in one's ways or thinking.

വെറുതെ ഒരു മോഹം

വെറുതെ ഒരു മോഹം
എവിടെ എത്തും എന്ന് അറിയില്ല
വിശ്വാസം കൈ നിറയെ 
ജീവിതയാത്രയിൽ
കൂടെ ആരുമില്ല
വ്യാമോഹം ആവരുതെ  എന്ന് ഒറ്റ പ്രാർത്ഥന

Mary my mother

Mary my mother, I have been asking for faith and purity. How am I progressing?  Please guide me and save me from false hopes and expectations.
Ask your Son to forgive me sins for they are many.

Hope

I have never been so hopeful ever in my life. In my prayers I always ask to be increased in faith. Faith I really lack. I give up easily. Never fought, never bothered.
But right now I put my faith in God to bless me the way I want? Is it possible? Am I crazy? I don't know. But there is something inside me that says to keep hoping and never to waver in faith. Don't doubt. Just believe. Is this normal or am I going insane?
Should I keep going or should I turn and find new ways to tread? Am i being a fool? Faith is sooo weird. It makes us believe in something that is not there. Am I in some sort of hallucination?

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Why would anyone say that? How do I know if my faith and hope is according to the holy will? Can I hope in something just like that? 

So many questions. No one to answer. 

Blue is the colour

Feeling a bit low. So Susan finally gave her opinion. She doesn't want a boy such as me. Im so timid, so lacking any seriousness, and  incapable of being responsible. I'm trying to change these but was not quick enough. Progress was damn slow.
I had prayed hard for her. Never prayed this way in life. I can be yelling at God right now. But why I ask. It's His wish.
It's been almost a year since we spoke. I have been calling, messaging her all the time since then. Never replied, never returned call. No response. Still this fool believed that one day she will say she likes me.
Yesterday she called me. Man I was happy. Cmon it's 11 months.  She told me she is  with her boy asked me if it was difficult to believe. She then gives the phone to her "boy" who yells at me.lol. But then he suddenly hung up when I told him ill put in loudspeaker mode (my mom was with me and so she was anxious to hear what Susan is saying). I dint believe it. Im used to this.

Later my uncle called her mom and she said Susan is still single, not in any relationship and it was then I got the bad news...hee

She is not cruel. I know her. She is saving me from her troubles and sufferings. She does not want me to get hurt. I dunno what else to say.